DMGClimbing Etiquette
The father was really cool at first. Very friendly. He's a climber himself, and we chatted about trips and so on for a few minutes. Then he took an appraising look at Maggie's Farm and said, "Wassat, about 5.8? 5.9? You young fellas should have no trouble!" Maggie's Farm is an overhanging 5.11a/b. He looked dubious when I told him this.
Every time I'd fall, he'd say something that started with, "Oh! I see! You just need to..."
And every time I'd fall, he'd jump back to the start of the climb to fondle the rock for a minute or two, while I stared at the back of his head, and waited for him to get out of my way. I tried to be polite. I'd listen to his ideas and say, "Okay, lemme give that a shot," and then stare in frustration as he continued to stand at the base of the climb.
After a few repetitions of this routine, he stood directly behind me as I was getting ready to climb. Remember: Maggie's Farm is overhanging, so when you fall off it, you pendulum out from the wall a good six or eight feet. He had watched this happen many times already, yet was standing right on the spot where I'd probably be cannonballing through in a few seconds.
"Uh, you may want to move, man," I said.
He replied cheerfully: "I'm good."
"Not if I fall, you're not." I made a mental note never to climb with this guy.
He just looked confused. My belayer had to clue him in: "He's going to swing right into you, dude." He looked startled and quickly stepped out of the way.
And when I did indeed peel, he started up again with, "You need to get your foot up there..."
I was getting testy. "How about we put you in a harness?" I said.
"Just trying to help you here, son."
"I know. But every climb looks easy from the ground."
One of his kids asked, "Are you going to climb, Daddy?"
"No," he replied with a fatherly smile, "I don't have the right shoes."
After a few more minutes (and plenty more free beta), he took his kids and wandered off.
I'm not sure what the lesson here is. I'm not sure there is one. I guess what I wanted to say to that guy is that I wish he'd be a little more mindful of the people around him. His kids wanted to move on ("Can we go now, daddy?"). I wanted to climb. My belayer wanted to climb. And yet he was totally focused on what he wanted.
Anyway, the 5.9s at Stoney are too easy these days, and the 5.11s are too hard to be really fun. I need to scan my So. Cal. Bouldering Guide and track down some nice meaty 5.10s for my partners and I to sink our teeth into next week.